March 14, 2022

No Shoes. No Shirt. No Problem.

Melodifestivalen, Cornelia Jakobs, Eurovision, Skiing, Hammarbybacken, Power Strips


It’s that time of year again… Sweden (and the rest of the nations it will compete against) has selected its entrant into the Eurovision 2022 contest. It’s Melodifestivalen winner Cornelia Jakobs (video)! Sean wonders about the possibility for corruption in the competition and why Swedes think these artists are potentially the best in the country (sorry). He also witnesses the most Swedish thing ever: people skiing without shirts. Then, Rodney almost gets maced when walking to work, and the guys ask “What’s the deal with these power strips?”


Swedish electrical power strip


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Transcript

welcome back everybody to two guys three crowns podcast about what it's really like to live in Stockholm Sweden join me Sean and my fellow Americans broadly as we explore the good the bad and the just plain weird hello I can fool some third against Saddam is say a ruler dole food good strong good no no that was my world's worst Cher impression wow yes I celebrated look as awful as it is but I had I had to pull it out you know because we just had the appeal to me I was thinking of abba but we've done so many abba tunes on thing I gotta shake it up and like the epitome of awful pop disco kind of write it because we've had melody festival rests yes we have yes we have and we will not have to deal with it again until next year until Eurovision and then we have to deal with it all over again %HESITATION yeah I I don't really know who I I mean it is what it is you know I mean it's a big people party and %HESITATION the people that do you follow it religiously and tune in every week and and watch we just we just habit the last couple years we just and we got to the point where after the %HESITATION after the weekly rendition to find out who's going to get out gonna make it further to the next week Lynn and I have just she just kind of fast forwards through the just cuts the whole show just goes like fast forward to this I we listen to about thirty seconds and then we're like a but %HESITATION %HESITATION and I don't know near all India a lot of money all going out with that one so for all of the if there's any look new listeners on the pod that haven't heard our previous explanations about melody festival in Eurovision Eurovision is like %HESITATION what would you say it's like the playoffs it's like the champions league but I'm trying to think of an American analogy that people would understand his champions league football like the real football so Americans are already like what the hell's going right anyway Salim Eurovision is the Olympics let's go with that your vision is the Olympics of really bad pop singing like America to get into that competition from Sweden you have to win basically the same thing but only Swedish entrance and then %HESITATION the official entrant from Sweden yeah go on and and then sing in that in that big thing but it's like it's so bizarre because every literally maybe there's one or two acts that are a little bit different but everyone sounds the same it's all like yeah okay it's like fine for a pop song look if it came on the radio like it's fine to like have in the background while you're working but there's nothing special about the music or the melody or anything like that and then you just like it just keeps going and then a foreign countries are voting for Sweden's entrance let that person is going to go from sweet and I'm like doesn't this like this is like a recipe for corruption and sabotage yeah not and I think it's kind of funny that you that you drew this this %HESITATION this comparison to tell like the Olympics %HESITATION but because the the songs are kind of like if you see your neighbor jogged by near like a he's pretty fast but it's not Olympics I mean you know okay the person can run but %HESITATION yeah but I mean again if you already have an Olympics for music it's cold the music industry right and Spotify and radio so the best will come to the top but it's just like this very specific quote unquote European approach to it but then we let we're like yeah Australia why not come on in yeah goodnight goodnight good on you yeah I I think that what what hits me with melody first of all and and and I brought this up before about Swedish TV just in general like some of the game shows and some of the reality shows and stuff it feels like you like you start regurgitating you know the same we are granted we're not huge rights with not a huge country but %HESITATION if you have a game show that's all the top athletes you know competing against each other yes yeah when you got like you know like the top of the top is is maybe though I don't know thirty thirty forty faces which is fine for one season two seasons three seasons and that all of a sudden you're kind of regurgitating melody first of all it is one of those things to wear it's a lot of people that you've seen you know before like it's it's it's %HESITATION I mean even if you had all the athletes at least there like you would be playing the same sport so you have like a baseline of what success is right as like a measurement kind of thing here they're just like oh yeah so we're going to give our points for this person and we're gonna give these points for that person and you're like why they're all add what but I think that that one of the things too that you realize is that and this is happened to me I guess this happened to me so many times that I kind of gave up the songs that I thought were okay I mean within within the realm of this competition the ones that I kind of thought were were good and the ones that I'll never make it through they don't go anywhere I mean there was an obvious there was an obvious song in this competition they brought everybody to their feet you know towards the last then again they've been sitting for two hours but %HESITATION it's a great it's a great song and its up tempo in the energy and stuff like that in no they didn't make it %HESITATION but congratulations to Cornelia Jake ups for becoming the Swedish representative there will be a %HESITATION days ago and her song hold me closer yes Sir and that silvery dress yes like the camera just wanted to %HESITATION like to shoot that all night long the one thing that struck us last night both Lynn and I were staring at each other there was a lot of swear words she was cursing %HESITATION yeah hot yeah yeah which is just like you know like once or twice you're calling okay but they were talking as the lyrics of the song now just like when they talk to were like before and the words you know she's like oh well you know I'm not gonna repeat anything but anyway so she's talking about and %HESITATION they ask about her %HESITATION effing pumped as Asian bobbled yeah yeah so it was %HESITATION that that kind of struck us as a as a as a little I guess okay where's that attitude in your music you know like Daniel give me little something edgy to go on any music about he was actually but Hey let's speaking of very sweetest things you know melody festival you're very sweetest things I did possibly now it wasn't me that did this but I witnessed it the most sweetest thing that I can think of some stood in line and you stood in line and you didn't know what it was for you just you saw the line even more Swedish like you can't possibly imagine how Swedish okay so if we rewind the tape you little back to like let's say nineteen ninety nine two thousand two thousand one something around there back in the day when we still had magazines right when that was the thing I was getting like guitar magazines and stupid stuff like that and I remember us fed Cup vodka mom always had these people I think it was vodka always had these people skiing down a mountain with like bikinis on and like K. guys with no shirts and I'm like how like even back then before I got into you know having to do this for a living I'm like how did they actually get those people out there they must've been out there for five minutes because then they're like they're sensitive areas are gonna freeze often fall off Friday afternoon I mean no no that is a moment that is a moment and I experience this moment this weekend okay yesterday in fact I saw a guy snowboarding without a shirt on %HESITATION %HESITATION we went to the ski star hammer B. back in baby okay got it going on okay and %HESITATION we met up with some friends there the idea was that the kids were going to go down that like some of the smaller parts of the like the little hills like right here in there Matt like with like their pocus now and then someone came over and they said no you can't do that here I put it we can't do that there's snow everywhere like we're not going to be in the way they're like yeah but so is because people could run into you level but you're not allowed to do that my god great wow so you can use a toboggan it was just I was just now they won't let you do it they won't let you do it especially if you haven't paid for the lift pass yeah right I think that was a problem is me and this friend of mine like we went up the the little bunny slope it's kind of like %HESITATION you know those moving walking escalators like the ones that they have in the airport to make you go faster yeah it's like that kind of thing like a continuous conveyor belt but a crime it goes at a slight incline to get you to the top of the of the bunny hill yeah so the you know the girls had gone up with the kids and they're like trying to find a spot where the kids can do like a little sledding like a place it's out of the way you know we're trying to be respectful that's what we do right and then he he and I would just like go dumb don't step on the thing and just go riding up without skis or anything or snowboards or whatever and really get a little hi and I'm sure we were getting looks from people I'm like what am I going to walk up the whole mountain floor I don't have it like I regular shoes on yeah I would sign him out walking up this whole thing I got an escalator right here come on yeah %HESITATION I'm sure we probably drew the eyes of like the Swedish people running the running the running shows so then they're like yeah those kids they can't they can't be doing a poor thing now but we did do like %HESITATION we ended up renting some ski gear in yeah did that whole thing so like right now all those muscles that like you never have to use except for when you're skiing like ride parts of your ribs and back yeah yeah yeah you didn't know were there you're just now that's starting to kick in and I'm like I I don't have the thing on the inside of my legs right thank god but man I'm like getting up out of the calcium like yesterday yeah I feel that yeah yeah yeah no man we I I was talking to because Linda and Linda took Veronica skiing for the first time or for Veronica's first time %HESITATION but %HESITATION not this past weekend the weekend before and that was one of the things that Linda had product is Lianna Hadden I think she's been skiing since we were skiing bike back in California it's been it's been a long time oh wow yeah %HESITATION and yes riding a bike okay I I I understand that but not riding a bike with ski boot your ski boots is one of those things the painful experience of putting on ski boots and that that funky angle we are kind of you know you're leading yes you're leaning forward for people who don't who have never skied before because snowboarding isn't I've done that to it it's a totally different vibe you can walk around and snowboarding boots like no problem right and it's like a totally different like skiing is like almost a more aggressive sports activity ins like snowboarding once you catch like the angle to like switch and swoosh down the hill it's like a very Zen kind of thing it's almost like when you catch sail on a sailboat like when you catch the wind is kind of like a very like it's just a different thing totally different but yeah so he will come out and like okay here's your ski boots for you and they look like they're a right angle they are not a right Angleton no no no no like you're walking around like temple don't don't don't right right yeah exactly because you can't walk properly and they're all plastic so they don't move at all it's so weird now and and and I think that a like for ever parents have been telling their kids that you know if it doesn't hurt you don't have mon right it just does it just doesn't make sense you know it's one of those things like out now if it's not hurting then then you got the wrong but you gotta find something that yeah that that hurts here and hurts their and then you know you got to have somebody help you buckle those puppies on there you go that herds there these are good these are good that's painful yeah I didn't have a problem with the buckles this time but the problem was like to get like because you know like you're right that right angle yeah we get the slip the foot angle it was like using all the strength and then you just like how that like I don't remember this being a problem how is this a big Hey if but yeah I saw like there was when you go on the bunny hello like we were like because the kids were there we didn't know how long we were going to be and all that stuff so we just about like you know like three hours and we knew we were going to use the whole thing just right go on the bunny hill and show the kids I'll look at the dads were skiing at yeah yeah yeah not cool is you want to do that next time when we come yeah you can we'll have to chase you up and down the mountain that'll be great Hey but that's cool yeah we were going back and forth and there is this one a group of three guys I think they were Brazilians actually because I think where they were from Portugal because I know I heard Portuguese and this dude man is it like every time I saw him he was wiping out and like waiting out in a way that like feet were above his head what are you doing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean it's just skiing man like yeah you have weird like long heavy feet all of us right but like he Leslie knowing like hello like any overhead like falls like the island yeah the old doing it wrong the old agony of defeat clip like that the thing with that yeah he's watching all the wrong tick tock clips this like no don't watch them I found clips you should be watching the how two clips I'm like if you want to do flips there is like the big mountain over here we'll do that yeah we can do that we can do the flips later yeah I just don't bring up modest top bargains with you because those aren't allowed okay but that's cool that that how might be back in that that that it was opened and was because it yet now it half of it with well what I say seventy five percent of it was open because they have the bunny hill like if you're looking at the mountain from the lift right bunny hill is all the way on the left like you have to go around around okay yeah remind me to tell you the story of when I took him out to skiing for the first time well so we'll skip that for now okay okay then there's like normally it involves me going straight up to the we went up to the top of the mountain and I've never used to T. bar lift before and I got freaked out that the last like and she ends up getting dragged up the hill by the T. bar lift by herself yeah I was a whole disaster and then I'm like where's the bunny hill right right right right %HESITATION okay horrible experience horrible experience so if you're looking at it from the left the bunny hill all the way over to left kind of in the back and then I just normally three runs coming down the one all the way to the right so close to the highway that goes past the mountain right there right has been closed because they're doing some kind of construction to the water or sewage trash system something because it's it is like a giant trash heap dump has been paved over like put over with earthly cased it Hey yeah yeah yeah but they're doing like a whole bunch of like tubes for the trash system or something anyway there's a whole bunch of construction one of the runs is closed but man when we got there all the smells multi wow well I'm like this smells like a blacksmith no this smells like a horse stall hello this smells like what goes inside of a horse stall no this is a human smell thing definitely human spoke it was bad and then it would disappear and then ten minutes later would come back here like what is going on here wow and then you're like oh yeah Swedish coffee ten kronor you know I'm like now now a nap yeah no no nobler thanks and no tanks I'll pass on that one but otherwise it was very nice and how may I be humble be backend is it's right outside what a day outside of the city I mean it's still stock home but I mean that's it it's very cool that is so close yeah when you know I mean for us it's like a twenty minute walk now so yeah you see people all the time like walking down in the middle the neighborhood walking down with like there was a ski is never the other all kitted up and all that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah super convenient so yeah quite nice but yes all the guy doing the snowboard thing with no shirt on okay I saw a couple people with short sleeve shirts and it was hot it was legitimately hot I was like sweating on the inside yeah yes I'm like I'm gonna wear like all my skin proper ski stuff not like all of like I had leggings on underneath and then like the thermal shirt yeah but I didn't like do the thermal socks and I wasn't wearing gloves you don't have the time and all that because it you're just sweating man in the sun it was crazy the suburbs are but I'm like yeah I'm not that Swedish I don't walk across the ice and I don't take my shirt off to go skiing no thank you now the ex L. A. but it is nice use feeling the change in the weather we are heading off to you it's come on now we know it's false advertising yep yep yep there's gonna be it's %HESITATION it's going to snow again at least one more yeah I don't I I was outside I die swept all of the gravel away from the front of our you know front of our place because they spread gravel during the winter and it's like layers of gravel and dirt and then well this Ravel it's just straight up the rocks yeah Matt but I swept away and then I went to the backside and I was taking a look and I looked at my my outdoor furniture is like mom the minute I touch my outdoor furniture is when we get that %HESITATION that rebound yeah and that's and they've been doing that in our neighborhood to they've been doing the sweeping I'm like mom in a funky little thing happened to me on my fucking little thing happened to me on my way to work the other day see what had happened was I had this and this is I don't know this is happening a kind of a couple times and it's it's it's it's really weird let me go ahead and set the stage for you let me let me set the stage for you so I catch the train and then I take time to bond on I take the subway the rest of the way to the last stop which is where I get off to walk to my to the office in she stopped in Ocala and %HESITATION there's maybe there's like a handful of us they get off the train around that time %HESITATION there is construction going on in the area so you can only kind of way go out one way %HESITATION and I have this I always find like the closest way to get anywhere I'm going so you know if it's if it's behind a tree and through %HESITATION you know diagonally through a parking area but I will always find the closest route to get anywhere that I'm going %HESITATION yes yeah and doing parkour over like part doesn't yeah I like to ask the crow flies jobs or you know does whatever that's me that's my route so %HESITATION as I coming up the escalator there is a young professional woman you don't dressed up on her way to work %HESITATION we leave the subway station she cuts a left I kind of laughed and then she you know walk straight like this is the route that I take every day I'm just not used to having somebody walking she was maybe ten oh no ten feet in front of me so you know we cross over this road and you know I cross over the road and then we cut into this like housing area and I'm right behind her into the housing area and and and it starts it starts feeling for me I was like oh cool side already gotten the vibes after you came out of the subway at the same time yeah yeah I already have to like sit there sit outside of that subway exit for five minutes and like look at something on your phone just yeah so it just kind of you know because I thought it was for you know my first thing was like oh cool somebody knows my little quickest route how to get over to buy job area %HESITATION but yeah after a while they start to get really it got really weird I started freaking myself out and I could see in the way that she was walking that she wasn't Diggin happened somebody you know ten feet behind her and I didn't really know what to do in that situation I don't know if I was like if I should like like say something sure be like hello excuse me the problem is it's already too late right you so anything off the bench somewhere like sat down and waited for it but why but why do you why do I need to do that I I was %HESITATION because you're a dude man what I was thinking about that when we got like a portion of the ways I was like what do I turn around where do I go you know what the long way then and then it's too late like when you are ready like when all the flags have started going off in your head and Leon see the body language of the other person yeah then it's too late okay just your you Mr offramp okay well %HESITATION she did a single man yeah working in like a weird destination the woman the good lawyers just that all of the construction but it's like all the construction that's going on it ends up being in she it okay this is what ends up happening so I'm walking and then did she Rodney now has a criminal record right no but she stops and turns around she like stops in like turns around and looks at me and I threw my hands up and then she turned around and I kept on walking and then she took out her phone and she started walking you know like slower now for me to like past her yeah yeah you know so she's walking slow noted passer right %HESITATION yeah I picked up the pace also you can just ride the lake even slower that's what I was thinking I was like what should I mess with now but %HESITATION yeah so I can't so I pastor and then it ends up that she must work in the building right right next to mine Jesus so it's an eye tests like that scenario is one of like my biggest nightmares yeah so she ends up Hey so she actually ended up following me the last part of the way you know and and I was tempted to like turn around %HESITATION you should get out yeah right before you get out of the offices like at around like yeah yeah but that is so funny yeah but that was I don't know and it's not I guess is Accor a I guess is international I guess is just the awkward situation no matter what it is an international thing yet nope no matter where you my name self yeah you got yeah outside that radar on you gotta but I just I just know if there was like two women walking together then you know it's it's not as much of a thing or if it's some like especially like an area with a lot of commuters back and forth yeah that's not a problem but like when you go into like when you know you're about to go into that weird like short cut residential thing now then it's like yeah yeah you have to be like yeah I'm gonna look like a creeper the second I make this right turn but I'm not a creeper I promise yeah but you have to have the awareness right but that's what you'll find the coffee there's got to be an espresso house around here so yeah but that's why I was happy that that internal dialogue is like should I like should I should I say something to or should be like a lady Hey lady I'm not a creepy voice is my route this is my route yeah yeah get out of here yeah this is my short cuts no others allowed come on now %HESITATION %HESITATION so anyway yeah that was my %HESITATION that was my my lease you then get mace may their outward you jet suit she could be there is not even a term I don't know that that that that would have just been the the the idea that like crawl from a guy like to turn to go home yeah yeah not not a good no I had to find another way back to work %HESITATION so there's no easy transition out of that story but I there's been something on my mind that must couple weeks okay that I haven't known how to bring up on the podcast okay and it's a very it goes to the core of why we started two guys three crowns okay okay what is the deal with the power strips here %HESITATION like they're quite expensive normally like they come in threes or fives like three outlets are five outlets getting anything else other than that very hard to find very hard to find a seven yeah and I don't know why we don't have for like I'm sure click like the big hardware stores must have but it's very hard to find that three in five it's like your standard thing yes but then they're all crooked they're all like at an angle and here we only have like the it's like two circular prongs that stick into the wall perfect for like a six year old with a fork action can reckon I'm chopsticks like killer yes Sir exactly it's circular prongs were it was like in the U. S. there like blades that go into blades going to the wall here is like two little poles running out of like your plug and those going to the wall but the power out everything in the wall is perpendicular to its parallel with the floor right right so it's enjoyable what everyone else would assume is normal but our power strips there at like at I don't even know it's not it I don't even know if it's a forty forty five degrees like thirty to thirty degree angle something like that forty six and I'm like why do we do this what is going on with that now and and I'm gonna put up I I'll put up a picture I'll put up a visual for those that they don't %HESITATION haven't ever seed a Swedish %HESITATION the Swedish extender strip power strip %HESITATION the problem is I I think that the thought is that that you can get more items on it because some of the stuff isn't just flat some of it has like a little like a little thingy barber on that the gets up I think well like I thought of that too like because if you have like if the plug comes in at a right angle like the cord comes in yeah I have like a little plastic shelter sure sure %HESITATION things actually and then the actual prongs go in it at a right angle right or to the cord right then maybe you could fit more but it's not the case no it doesn't help things like that the the cord comes in and then there's like the plastic is just it goes with the same movements and I wish like podcasting was more visual my most recent but like there is like thick so Europe is like not a square plug it's circular because everything circular and you get the circular plug with the two prongs and you put it directly into the holes mmhm and it just perfectly fits and they have the little notches and everything like we're gonna have to upload pictures of the Instagram account with the bank to be able to express this but like if it's a power strip then they all go in doing doing doing like vertically straight down in our streets and then you don't need to worry about like angles and stuff like that and then it's at an angle and things are like but what if I don't want it to run left or right like I know it just doesn't make any sense like I see where the intent might be to fit in more stuff but it still doesn't work it still doesn't make sense I have a I have a rogue really it's strange feeling that I think that it's you and me the two American guys trying to figure out figure out this this electronic I could this country brought us minecraft I. meter they they've got to have some who like the simplicity people yeah but we're not we're doing it wrong simplicity I bet you were doing with the angles but you were doing it wrong so it's like we take the other end like do I put the TV in the plug then like well I don't know what to do them now now it feels like there's math and angles involved in this and me now I mean they make Volvo's like you would think they would be able to enjoy it like if they're going to re engineer the wheel it's at least not gonna catch on fire right but like this I'm like and that's the thing it's a euro it's two hundred twenty volts so every time like you know how in the states like there's that one outlet that like kinda iffy outlet right there like something in a gay I sense the spark out that's like every E. U. power outlet you have to be prepared to discuss and the spark out when you plug something in because it's just Jews to the Max two hundred twenty volts and so I get this power strip that I paid eight hundred dollars for every level trying to like turn stuff and like put in and I'm just like I'm gonna kill myself trying to plug into a power strip here we go Sean I got a funky feeling mad that that somebody's gonna send us to be like did you guys read the instructions do you know why except that instructions come on man it's a power strip they don't need no instructions and all right everybody that is going to do it for this week's episode that is all the time have thank you so so much as always for tuning in and if there's any newcomers out there to hide if you would like a super totally not made up offer to join the ultra secret two guys three crowns fan club all you have to do go into the app that you're listening to this podcast on right now it subscribe and leave us an amazing five star rating it makes all the difference in the world and then when you're done with that come back here next time for more two guys three crown 2 guys 3 crowns